So there I was playing Hanging with Friends. At 3 in the morning. Because I can’t sleep and why not? Who doesn’t do their best thinking at 3 in the morning? In this one particular game I’ve correctly guessed the last 2 words. My mystery opponent has guessed one word but missed the last two. No big. There’s still time for mystery opponent to come back. Otherwise I’ll dominate and move on. Forgetting the whole thing.

I get the notification that this mystery opponent has made a new move and as I open the app I see that this person has left me a message. I expect some comment on the late hour or some clever note on how awesome I am at coming up with words too complicated for the average person but instead I get this: “Hi. My mom says I’m only allowed to play this game with people who are under 25 because I’m only 11. How old are you?”

My first thought is WTF? It’s 3 in the morning. You can play at 3 in the morning but only if I’m under 25? What the hell is up with your mom? Then I remember how time zones work and think maybe, just maybe this alleged 11 year old is up at a reasonable hour wherever he or she actually is. But I’m still weirded out.

What if this is one of those Dateline To Catch a Predator things. Is Chris Hansen outside my house right now? On my lawn with a camera crew just waiting for me to say something inappropriate? Perhaps I should just resign the game and move on. 

But wait a gosh darn minute! I’m winning this game and right now I’m on a winning streak. I’ve won the last 5 games and I’m not breaking my record because of Mr. Chris ‘Entrapment’ Hansen. So, I keep playing. I guess allegedly under-aged kid’s word, submit my own and then answer the age question in way that doesn’t admit my real age but also admits that I am outside of the arbitrary age limitations that this kid’s “mom” has put on him or her and respond “29.”

All that 3 am thinking has done one thing. It made me sleepy. I drift to sleep and wake the next day to find that under-aged mystery opponent resigned the game. My streak continues and the weirdness ended quietly. But the mystery is wide open. 

Was this person really 11? If so, what difference would it make how old I was? This method of protecting her child is flawed. If I’m some kind of creep, I’d just lie. Oh, hey there friend. I’m 11 just like you! Let’s continue playing forever. By the way, do you like candy? I happen to live in a house made of candy.