Of all the Facebook notifications I receive, “Your friend has finally stopped posting 10 pictures a day of her baby.” is the one I want the most. 

The latest picture came with the comment, “I just gave baby a bath and when I don’t brush his hair it gets curly.”

I could take pictures of what I’m doing and post it every hour or so. “Just sent an email.” “Balanced that budget.” “Negotiated a contract. Fourth one today.” But you know why I don’t? 

Because no one cares.

P.S. I’ve also considered adding the comment: Hey, remember this time last year when you were drunk and peed in the bushes behind CVS?